Did you ever ask yourself what your inner child is longing for? Well, I just happened to discuss the topic with some friends at a dinner party the other day. And I found the different answers really interesting!
My first friend answered adventure. She remembered a day last year, when she and some other friends just jumped into a random river in the middle of the night. The feeling of doing something unexpected is something that she is missing in her daily life. My second friend answered carefreeness. In the sense that you don't have responsibilities like earning your income, dealing with appointments and chores. She loves the memory of a caring mum who cooks for her and guides her through the day. My own answer was warmth and a feeling of security. I felt that all the traveling and moving from one country to the next has made me lose my sense of grounding and the presence of family-like people who are around me, not just on Skype.
The most interesting part was that we didn't have the same longings. Which basically means, that even as an adult you can manage to integrate adventure, carefreeness and feelings of security in your life.
Let me talk about adventure first. Personally, I feel that there is quite a lot of adventure in my life. Ok, I don't jump into random rivers very regularly, but I love to step outside my own comfort zone. I take singing classes for example. It's an adventure for me, because I am a terrible singer. Every single time I go to my class, I feel a little nervous and I have to jump over my shadow. I also like interpersonal adventures. A few weeks ago, I set myself the task to speak more to strangers when I'm at coffeeshops and libraries. Again, every time I have to overcome some social fears and embarrassment, but so far each encounter has been interesting.
Regarding carefreeness, we came to the conclusion that it has a lot to do with trust and outsourcing. The reason why we feel that we're in charge of too much is often caused by our compulsion to control. Take teamwork for example. The reason why it feels stressful is because in many cases we don't fully trust our teammates and we feel like the entire responsibility lies on our shoulders. If we work on our own attitude and entrust more to others, we can get closer to this child-like carefreeness again.
Last but not least, let's have a look at warmth and feelings of security. My friend spontaneously said that she gets all that from her relationship. So this might be the most straightforward way to have this warm family-feel again. But we also came to the conclusion that a slightly more stable lifestyle (living in the same city for more than a year...) or the choice of habitat (living in a supportive flat-share, frequent visits to close friends) can make a huge difference.
In the bottom line, the cravings of our in children might be easier to reach than we think!
What is your inner child longing for? And what do you do to satisfy these needs?